Monday, August 13, 2018

Lady and the Manager


An older lady decided to give herself a big treat for her significant
70th birthday by staying overnight in an expensive hotel.
When she checked out next morning, the desk clerk handed her
a bill for $250.00.



She exploded and demanded to know why the charge was so high.
"It's a nice hotel but the rooms certainly aren't worth $250.00 for just
an overnight stay! I didn't even have breakfast."
The clerk told her that $250.00 is the 'standard rate', so she
insisted on speaking to the Manager.



The Manager appeared and, forewarned by the desk clerk, announced: 

"This hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference centre which are available for use."
"But I didn't use them," she said.
''Well, they are here, and you could have," explained the Manager.
He went on to explain that she could also have seen one of the
in-hotel shows for which the hotel is famous.
"We have the best entertainers from the world over performing here,"
the Manager said.
"But I didn't go to any of those shows," she said.
"Well, we have them, and you could have," the Manager replied.



No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, she replied,
"But I didn't use it!" and the Manager countered with his standard
response.
After several minutes discussion with the Manager unmoved,
she decided to pay, wrote a cheque and gave it to him.
The Manager was surprised when he looked at the cheque.
"But madam, this cheque is for only $50.00."
"That's correct. I charged you $200.00 for sleeping with me," she replied.
"But I didn't!" exclaims the very surprised Manager.
"Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have."


Sunday, June 3, 2018

Dream a Little Dream


 Theory of Relativity 
Einsteins Dream
         Einstein’s dream was about a farm in which a bunch of cows were huddled up against an electric fence in a straight line. When someone switched the fence on, he saw the cows jumping up and down in unison because of the electricity. He told this to the farmer, who then countered that he saw something different. From the farmer’s vantage point, the cows didn’t jump in complete unison. Instead, they jumped one by one, imitating a wave.This is where Einstein got the idea that events look different depending on your vantage point, largely because of how long it takes for the light to reach you, depending on where you are.

Today I'm wearing a lovely shade of I slept like shit so don't piss me off.